Guidelines for the Christian Young Girl

And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. (Col. 3:17)

By Amos K. Martin

& Christine G. Martin

Printed: March 2006

© 2000

Published by: Weaverland Mennonite Publications

Contents

Dear Young Lady

A Word From Christine

Your Invisible Friend

Twice Born

It’s Nice to Have Friends

But, What Can We Do?

But, All my Friends Are Doing It!

What Do I Wear?

Becoming a Lady

What May I Do?

Speaking the Truth in Love

Living with the People God Gave Me

Looking for Something Better

Turning the Other Cheek

How Do I Find the Right One?

Must I Face Life Alone?

Exciting Plans for the Future

When One Plus One Equals One

Dear Young Lady

Introduction

Life can be sweet. You are going from a teen girl to a young lady and there are responsibilities that will be required of you as you join the company of other young ladies1. You have the rest of your life ahead of you. Many of the things you do now and in the near future will have a bearing on the quality of your life. Today people are dealing with undesirable situations because of decisions and choices they made in their youth.

Young womanhood can be a happy era of your lifetime. It is usually a time to enjoy good health, dreams for the future, and learning to socialize with peers. Enjoy life; God meant for us to enjoy it. We are given life to learn about heavenly things and to allow Him to redeem us back into His fellowship. Children are innocent until they become old enough to understand God’s plan. As we come to an age of understanding, we must realize that all men and women are born with a sentence of condemnation to hell2, unless something is done about it. I trust that by the time you are reading this book you already made the right choice. You are not ready for the following subjects unless you are prepared to die3.

What is your life worth? To God you are important, worth more than anything in the world. It was worth the cost of His perfect and righteous son Jesus Christ. When God created man, He saw that man needs a helper to be complete, so He created a woman. He already had a plan of salvation for you4, then worked His plan in the proper time. You have a birthright that you need to claim for yourself; it includes God’s will for you. Don’t sell your birthright for fun and pleasure, There are many blessings in following Godly principals and I promise you will never regret it.

Now enjoy these subjects, and if you have questions, I suggest you discuss them with your parents or your ministry.

You will notice small numbers like this5, as you read. It means there is a footnote at the bottom of the page, referring to a Bible verse. Please take your Bible and look them up.

Wishing you God’s choice blessings,

Amos K. Martin

A Word From Christine

An Overview

Greetings of Christian love,

You are entering an exciting era of life, a time and place you have never been before. There will be occasion to go places and do things that in later years time and opportunity will not allow.

It is also a time of apprehension, questions may arise such as: Who am I?; Where do I fit in all this?; Why do we do things the way we do? What is God’s personal plan for me? These are good questions; they’re also hard, but don’t stop asking!!!

Discuss these things with your parents, ministers, or others you can trust and respect. We need someone to be there and to help us grow spiritually. God has given us the gift of emotions and sometimes they seem to get in the way. We don’t always know why we feel the way we do. This helps to make us unique and special. We must allow God to work through us so we can be transformed and become gentle, caring, and able to feel others pain. It will give us a passion to love. It will help us to understand those that are a little different, those that are not accepted as well or as popular. It is also what makes us good friends and later, good mothers.

It may cause us to wander off into fantasy land sometimes, or to desire a special boy as friend, and we forget that we need to first ask: What is God’s will for me?

A women’s liberation group once claimed they are equal to men and can do a job of fire fighting as well as men. They were asked to take a test. Eighty one women showed up and eighty one women failed. They were required to carry a one hundred and fifty pound person from the top floor to the bottom floor of a three story building. God has not created us to be strong and aggressive, but rather to enhance the man.

May God bless you as you allow Him to lead you down the path He has chosen for you.

Love and prayers,

Christine Martin

Your Invisible Friend

Holy Spirit

If you would die tonight, where would you find yourself after death? Does anyone care about your destiny? Yes! Jesus cares; the church cares; your parents care; and we care.

In all likelihood, on the day you were born, your family was overjoyed. Your parents probably had many dreams for your future and wondered what your character will be like.

Some may have said she favors her mother or she has light hair like her father’s side of the family. But, you were not quite the same as any one else; rather you were just the way God intended you to be. You have a soul that had never existed before you did, and that soul will live forever. It can never be completely destroyed.

There’s a war going on for your soul. Satan wants it and Jesus does, too6. There’s another world called the spirit world7. It contains a good Spirit (God’s), an evil spirit (Satan’s) and operates by different rules. To communicate with someone at a distance I use a telephone or some other electronic aid, whereas communications in the spirit world is only through our spirit8. Because we are born in sin, our communications are automatically established with the evil spirits and that is why we must be born again9.

You are made up of body, soul, and spirit10. The body only functions in this world and has many limitations, it is what we bury at a funeral. The spirit and soul are active in the body so long as it has life. When the body dies, the spirit and soul leave the body and returns to God.

The soul is the real you, where your character and goals reside. The spirit is where your emotions and feelings can be influenced by good or evil spirits.

Jesus, through the Holy Spirit, wants to be your invisible friend. You can talk to Him anytime, anywhere. He wants to hear from you.

Twice Born

Born Again

I have a riddle for you to think about. When is a baby chick born? When the hen lays the egg or when the chick is hatched? Or is a baby chick born twice? I don’t know the answer either, but the Bible tells us humans can be born the second time11.

Being born again is the first step of a Christian’s life and should take place before baptism and church membership. However, some have been baptized into the church and later thought they had not been born again. So we clearly understand what born again means, we will briefly review it here.

When Adam and Eve sinned, that sin was passed on to every human being12. It also corrupted their will so that sinning became a natural part of everyone. It’s as if someone would pen a dog on a pasture and even though the pasture would be filled with lush grass, and a stream, the dog would starve. On the other hand, if one were to put a cow on the same pasture it would probably do very well. The difference, of course, is the fact that a cow is naturally adapted to live on grass. Humans are naturally sinners and they will sin.

One must confess to God that she is a sinner and ask

God to be merciful13. She must renounce sin and allow the Holy Spirit to control her life. This will cause her to become a new person and be born into a new life. The old way of life is now crucified with Christ on the cross and is dead to her14. She is then adopted into God’s family and becomes a child of God.

The first time you were born you came into this world as a baby: this was your first birth. When you committed yourself to Christ, you were born again: this was your second birth. Unless we are born again, we won’t see the kingdom of God15.

One who is born again desires to worship with others of the same faith, and will request baptism, an outer sign of being born again. I trust that you have prayed the sinner’s prayer, been baptized, and received into the church.

It’s Nice to Have Friends

Friendship

We are created to need each other. In fact we have interaction with others almost constantly in our daily life. We live with people; work with people; socialize with people; and worship with people.

God wants us to have friends…lots of them. As Christians we encourage and support each other. We warn each other when we fail in our Christian life. The Proverbs writer gives a basic guideline: if you want to have friends you must be one16. Become interested in others, both girls and boys, with a wholesome interest.

Be aware that people consist of two classes, Christians and non-Christians. One group is serving God and the other is serving Satan. Within the Christian group there are many different ways of practicing Christianity. Develop friends who practice a lifestyle of similar standards and values as yours, but always be courteous and friendly to all as your faith speaks through your lifestyle, warning sinners and encouraging saints.

Choose your friends carefully; you will want to be with those who are trustworthy and are good supporters of the church. The Bible tells us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers17. If one has been excommunicated from the church, you will want to be friendly with him/her, but not in a way to encourage his/her life style. They need encouragement to work through their situation so they can be forgiven by God and reinstated into the church.

It can be interesting to discuss spiritual things and to read the Bible together.

One hears of disrespect among youth, such as, sneaking away from one, using nick names, or mocking one who may be a bit different. This is not acceptable by those who are practicing the love of God18. Rather, try to be friendly to everyone and enjoy each other’s company.

But, What Can We Do?

Socializing

God meant for us to enjoy each other’s company and fellowship. Getting together with friends, both girls and boys, to socialize, play games, and sing hymns, can be fun and is a means of meeting and learning to know new friends. It is important that activities are appropriate for boys and girls socializing together.

Improper games, dancing, or mixed swimming, are not good moral activities for God’s children to be involved in.

Being close together in physical contact stirs immoral thoughts which break God’s laws19. This gives Satan an advantage for tempting youth and we don’t want to give him this opportunity. It is important that girls realize, the emotions of boys tend to be stirred before girls are. Decent, young ladies are very careful to not encourage evil thoughts when around young men. You will find most youth respect those who stand against questionable activities. When such activities are suggested, don’t participate, and likely there will be others who will support you.

Instead have good, clean fun; this will create pleasant memories for you to think of, later in life. Do things you will enjoy talking to your children about and will never be ashamed of. Some wholesome activities include, singing together, playing games, doing work projects for someone in need, or visiting retirement homes20, etc.

Partying that includes drinking, smoking, watching videos, or going to theaters is a poor testimony, as well as a poor health practice. Wouldn’t it be embarrassing to call your parents following such a party and ask them to pick you up at the local police station? Don’t go to places or do things you wouldn’t do if Jesus is along. What if Christ returns for His church and you are not ready? The Bible tells us there will come a time that the Holy Spirit closes the door and we can no longer call on Jesus21, so be ready at all times, when you are alone or when socializing with others.

But, All my Friends Are Doing It!

Peer Pressure

“But, all my friends are doing it.” How often is this said when youth are asked not to do something or dress in a questionable manner? Peer pressure can be good or bad. We can use it to our advantage. When we hesitate to do something questionable, or go somewhere that doesn’t seem quite right, because someone may see us, peer pressure is a blessing22. When we do something wrong because our friends are, and we don’t want to be different, peer pressure becomes an evil thing.

When I was with the youth, there were those that did mischief and as time went on they were married and raised families. Today when I meet one of them I can’t help but remember some of the things they did. If they knew what I am thinking they would be embarrassed. Possibly many times they regret some of the things they did.

More than that, when you allow others to tell you what to do, you are allowing someone else’s guidelines and standards to become your own. You must realize that though they convince you to be involved in something questionable, you alone will be responsible for the consequences23 of your actions. We are responsible for our self when we stand before God’s judgment throne. Satan’s work has a terrible cost and he has absolutely no mercy. He desires only to destroy you and will use others to approach you if he can. He uses people and circumstances to accomplish his evil24.

Be an example as a Christian young lady and establish guidelines and standards that you can live with and need never be ashamed of. I can assure you that you will never regret living a good, upright life. By having high standards you will develop integrity and the respect of others. You will be an asset to the church and the community. You will be a person that others enjoy being with, one that everyone trusts, and others will want to follow. This type of person usually has many friends of integrity.

What Do I Wear?

How We Dress

As stated earlier men tend to be emotionally aroused quicker than women. It is your responsibility to make sure you are not encouraging this when in the presence of men25, because God will hold you responsible if you dress in an enticing manner. There are many women in public which are not properly dressed and should not be seen outside their bedroom. Some of them even profess to be a child of God.

A decent lady, even a young woman, will want to wear clothes that tend to hide the shape of the body. A dress with a loose fitting cape is very becoming. She will have a neatly cut neckline that rests at the base of the neck. The bottom of the dress will be closer to the ankle than to the knee so she does not have to be careful every time she sits down or bends over in the presence of men.

You will want good taste in the way you design your dresses. The fabric should be neat and a subdued print, not a large design nor decorated with laces and jewelry like a walking fashion display26.

Girls tend to think that if they don’t dress themselves in a fashionable manner they may miss the opportunity to get a life partner. The question follows: is that what a Christian young lady should use for guidelines in choosing a future husband? Isn’t it rather shallow to desire a partner that only looks how fashionable a young lady dresses? You will find that he has these same standards in choosing a home, a car, as well as friends. Sometimes people of this nature are never satisfied. This can lead to unfaithfulness, divorce, or at the least, a life of not being quite able to fulfill his image of a good wife. It may become a miserable married life.

We tend to think that we need to dress different than our parents. The fact is that as we get older it becomes our standard. And as each generation changes, the church changes. This causes apostasy in the church.

Becoming a Lady

Maturity

Can you imagine Jesus’ mother, Mary, going to the beauty parlor to have her hair dyed and permed or having her nails trimmed and painted?

Neither can I. God loves honesty. He called the Pharisees hypocrites for standing on the street corners and making a public show of prayer. How do you think God feels about women who try to change their looks by dyeing their hair and painting their face? Is He hurt when He sees they are not happy with the way He made them? In a way they are saying that He made a mistake and they need to correct it.

Never paint, dye, or color yourself. It is hard for the average young lady to improve her natural beauty. True beauty comes from a ready smile, a positive outlook on life, and a compassionate character27.

Develop good habits, take care of yourself, and eat healthy foods such as fruits and vegetables, rather than junk food. It is pleasing to see young ladies with radiant complexions from healthful living. Sometimes people have undesirable skin conditions which can be helped by seeing a skin specialist. There is nothing wrong with this.

You will want to keep yourself free from the use of tobacco, alcohol, and drugs. It is not becoming to be around young ladies who are smoking or smell like smoke. It’s hard to understand why they are particular about how they look and smell; then pollute themselves by smoking or drinking. Also, why ruin your health for a bit of enjoyment? Such practices are very hard to break, but have far reaching effects. Keeping yourself free of alcohol and drug abuse are physically beneficial.

Young ladies who practice these habits usually don’t have friends with good reputations. After a reputation is spotted it is very hard to change it. If you are dating you will insist that your special friend does not practice these habits as well.

What May I Do?

Entertainment

“What may I do?” This is a good question. What shall a young lady do to achieve personal growth, develop right attitudes, acquire good habits, and be an asset to her family and church?

First, notice that it is more enjoyable to be with some people than with others. Copy the habits and principles that you appreciate in others. Another very good source of principles to follow are listed in the fruit of the spirit28.

The song, “Yield Not to Temptation,” mentions good practices for young ladies to follow: “Shun evil companions, dark passions subdue, don’t take God’s name in vain, be thoughtful, earnest, kindhearted, true, and look always to Jesus, He’ll carry you through.”

You will be influenced by the type of music you listen to. Be very careful. A good guideline is music without instruments. God made the human voices to blend beautifully and when instruments are added they take away from the beauty of the human voice. Rock, pop, contemporary, or country music is an absolute NO. It will exert a power over you that is hard to break from. It is a tool direct from Satan29. Listen only to singers who are Christians and practice God’s principles.

The radio, television, and video player are very dangerous forms of entertainment30. The programs are designed to attract as many listeners as possible and therefore must consist of worldly entertainment31. Don’t be fooled by so called religious entertainment. They, too, are designed to draw people and in many cases are just another form of worldly entertainment. As soon as you turn one of these instruments on you have lost control of what you will be exposed to.

Another big NO is the theater and ungodly reading material. The people who write plays and stories are in it for the money. They don’t give one little care about the souls of those whom they entertain. Satan uses these channels to come right into the midst of people’s lives and get their minds off the destiny of the soul. Don’t be fooled32!

Speaking the Truth in Love

Sound Speech

God has given us the means to communicate with others. It is pleasing to see life in a positive manner33. A young lady develops an inner beauty by her manner and consideration for others. When she is courteous, friendly, speaks kindly, it is like a breath of fresh air. Having a meek, quiet, and compassionate spirit gives her a desirable personality. A loud and boisterous girl, trying to be the center of attraction is obnoxious to all those around her, a sharp contrast to a gentle, refined Christian young woman.

It is important that we don’t use a lot of unnecessary words34. Strong language and cursing can become habits. After the habits develop, we use the unnecessary words without being aware of it and it becomes embarrassing.

Slang is another form of speech that is undesirable. When words are used a certain way and mean something else, they can cause misunderstandings. As an example, sometimes the word kid is used for children. The real meaning of kid is a young goat. Jesus said the goats will be separated from the sheep and will be included with those that are condemned35. We don’t wish that on anyone.

Use speech that is appropriate among any mixed audience. Conversation is an important part of your social life. You create your image and reputation with others by the way you communicate. By consciously developing good habits you will be a better testimony for your faith.

Paul said to speak the truth in love36. Proverbs tells us that a soft answer turneth away wrath37. When one speaks to us in an angry manner and we respond with a loving answer it can change their response immediately.

Always be truthful, there are times when it is hard, like when the truth may hurt a friend, but if it helps them, it needs to be said. There are times it is better to leave the truth unsaid, in those times we just don’t say anything. We must learn to use good judgment in our speech. God cannot bless when there is untruth.

Gossiping and whispering are other undesirable traits as well.

Living with the People God Gave Me

Character

As a child of God, you will want to show respect and honor to your parents38 as well as develop a close relationship with your brothers and sisters39. God planned for you to be born into this family. The way you respond to your family members will involve many areas of your life. It will also determine how you relate to the church and how you encourage your family in living a Christian life. It is a time of making memories and having pleasant experiences with which you can reminisce with your family later on in life.

There can be many good times when your family gets together for Christmas or other family gatherings and talk about the good old days.

There may be times when you think you had no opportunity to pick your siblings and you certainly would not have picked the ones you have. God makes no mistakes and you belong right where you are. Make the best of it and you will find that you can have many good times together.

Practice the fruit of the Spirit with each other40. Enjoy the presence and fellowship, there are many who lost a brother or sister through death, or may never have had siblings and wish they could have. If God ever takes one of them home to heaven, you will never want to have regrets.

You may be working at home or if your mother can spare your help, you may be working away. In either case, as you become a young lady there are responsibilities required of you. If you are working for someone else, always do a little more than they expect of you41. Build integrity and God will bless your work. When a person becomes dependable and trustworthy, one can usually find a job. There are employers looking for those kinds of people. Be a Ruth.42

When working away from home we must respect and appreciate those we work with. Some positions, such as teaching requires interaction with board members, parents as well as students. It can be a time of spiritual growth.

Looking for Something Better

Testimony

Tourist: “Why are some of the young girls wearing a white cap on their head like yours?”

Girl: “Our church requires it for membership.”

We hear this response sometimes, when asked why our girls wear the covering. However if the prayer veiling is worn because the church asks them to, they are wearing it for the wrong reason.

The proper response is to give the Bible reference43 and explain the headship order as Paul taught it. A woman’s place is subject to her father or her husband if she is married. “The church requires it”, is not a good answer.

Some will say the hair is the covering, or it was a custom that is no longer required. Study the chapter so you know the truth and are able to explain it to someone. By reading closely you will see that Paul speaks of two veilings. The one is the hair but the second one is a separate veiling.

The scriptures promise that with this veiling you will have power on your head because of the angels44. Isn’t it nice to have this consolation? Know why you do the things you do. You will want to live in a way that respects the significance45 of the prayer veiling. It should be of sufficient size and style to easily meet the request of your church and the hair will fit neatly underneath. It includes honoring your parents as well as the church46.

A job gives us the opportunity to be a testimony to others. Sometimes older people are looking for a maid to help them so they can still live by themselves. There are many opportunities for blessings that money can’t buy.

Another opportunity is to give a year or two to voluntary service with a charitable organization. There are many needs and usually a shortage of workers. Some considerations include, homes for special children, teachers, retirement homes, missions in other countries, etc. Before committing to an organization, you will want to be sure it stands for the same values and standards you support and the church teaches. Discuss it with your parents.

Turning the Other Cheek

Non-Resistance

Martyrs Mirror speaks highly of women who inspired their men to stand as they were being tried for their faith. Many died with their husbands or other family members for supporting them. One example referred to a woman who cried to her husband to stand as he was asked to recant in front of a large crowd of people who gathered to watch the execution. The authorities came to her and turned a screw through her tongue into the roof of her mouth. But, she nor the other Christians retaliated against the authorities.

By our measurement many of these experiences were not fair, but actually having the privilege to live is not fair. God through His mercy, gave us life even though we don’t deserve it. Therefore, our life is really His to do with as He sees fit. His commands are simply that we are to help each other on the way to heaven47. It is God’s desire that every soul spend eternity in heaven with Him48.

Going back to the example in Martyrs Mirror, think how other young women who witnessed the scene, could have felt about it. And what if it moved one to call on God for her salvation? This certainly could have been a winning situation, some lost their lives here on earth, but they gained heaven and more souls were added to God’s family.

Jesus said that if someone strikes us on the one cheek, we shall turn the other49. He promised to bless us for this50. If one steals our coat it doesn’t mean that He will give us a better coat but, rather that it will strengthen our relationship with Him. He will take care of punishing the evildoers. Your calling is to forgive, to be a testimony for Him, to encourage the saints and warn the sinners.

As the world observes us living like this, they will better understand when our men refuse to fight in the army.

Christians going to war is not consistent with the scriptures. How can a professing Christian be in a war, shooting at other Christians on the other side? It is better that we show God’s love to the world.

Nonresistance is more than refusing military service or being nonresistant towards government authorities.

How Do I Find the Right One?

Dating

After making life’s most important decision, of accepting Christ as your Lord and Savior. The second most important decision is finding the right life partner. Please be very careful, you will need to submit to him for as long as you both shall live. You are not ready to consider dating until you have first made a commitment to God and have been baptized into the church. Girls who have accepted life companions by the wrong standards have dealt with very miserable situations the rest of their life.

This is one decision that God gave us much liberty in. Paul tells us to marry only in the Lord51. Then you will want to date only one who is a church member of the same faith as you are. When several churches are involved it immediately becomes complicated.

You will want to give it serious thought and prayer before developing a relationship with a special friend. Do not date for the sake of dating, but only date when you are seriously considering a man as a possible future husband. It is not fair to a young man to lead him on if you feel uncomfortable with the relationship. It is not good to date for a considerable length of time and then break up. However, if there is a justifiable reason do not hesitate to end the relationship.

After dating a little while discuss spiritual things with him. Learn what his standards are and his vision for the future. Having devotions and prayer together as a regular part of the relationship will reveal much about where he stands and his attitude towards the church.

Do not allow him to take liberties and become too intimate with you; such as petting or other forms of familiarity. A good standard to follow is a “hands off” policy. It is your responsibility to keep yourself and him pure52.

Should the relationship not work out, both of you will have a clear conscience and a pure heart. You may hear that others are doing it, that does not make it right.

Spend your dates doing things with other couples, such as visiting, singing, playing games, observing nature, spiritual discussions, etc.

Must I Face Life Alone?

Singleness

“Must I face life alone?” you may ask. The answer is “No!” If you have surrendered your life to Jesus, you are never alone. In fact you have the best and most dependable friend you will ever have53.

We tend to make plans, then ask God to bless them. That is not quite what God has in mind when He asks us to surrender ourselves to Him. He wants to make our plans, then as we surrender to Him54, He will bless them.

Sometimes a young lady may not be chosen by one that seems right for her or she may not feel a desire for marriage. This will allow her to go through life with less family responsibilities and she can concentrate on living the spiritual life more completely55.

If your calling is to stay single, it does not mean that you are any less of a person, or that you are less important to God. In the past, singles have been a great blessing to the church. Don’t worry if your friends are getting married. If you have surrendered your will to God, you will know when someone special comes into your life. Be thankful God has kept you from an unhappy marriage. Being single is far better than being bound for life to an unloving, ungodly, or unfaithful husband.

If through circumstances you remain single, set your goals to keep yourself pure. Do not allow your singleness room for serving Satan. Be careful that you are not in a position that allows men to work closely with you or to be overly friendly. Spend time in private devotions and in serving others. You may be able to reach out to those who are having struggles in life that the married cannot relate to56. There are many other ways of serving God such as, teaching school, caring for the sick and aged, etc.

There is nothing in the scriptures that requires one to lead a married life. In fact it seems God leaves that choice to each individual as they see fit, or discerns God’s leading57. It is important that whether one stays single, or gets married, the motive and reason is to be in the Lord’s plan for her life. Whatever she does will be done to honor and glorify God.

Exciting Plans for the Future

Engagement

This is usually an enjoyable time of learning to know each other better while planning your future together. Don’t forget God58.

It is the Bride-to-Be’s responsibility to be a help-meet to her future husband. Support and respect him as the spiritual leader which God has called him to. Be ready to kindly correct him if you see he is making wrong decisions. By this time you both should be comfortable in having devotions and praying together59.

A successful marriage must be a triangle involving three persons: a groom, a bride, and the Holy Spirit. When planning your new home always plan around God’s will.

Don’t start out with excessive debt, this can cause hardship and will strain a marriage. Be very courteous to each other, and keep communications open at all times. When the two of you don’t see things the same way, respect his Godly calling for leadership. God can bless mistakes when His headship plan is followed. God meant for the home to be a foretaste of heaven. A place that both husband and wife will always look forward to coming home to.

Don’t ruin your home by refusing to give up your job or career. You have a noble and important career called housewife. If God decides to bless the home with children you are called to one of the most important careers among mankind. Never sacrifice family responsibilities for any other work or hobby. A wife can make or break the family. God is depending on you.

By all means make a resolution together that you will help each other stay pure. Intimate relations were planned by God only for those who have made a marriage covenant between them. You will never regret having had a pure, wholesome engagement it actually creates the setting for a better and more enjoyable marriage.

If going on a wedding trip, plan to make it a special time for you and the Lord. Newly wed young couples can be a tremendous testimony to those they meet.

God bless the plans for your new home!

When One Plus One Equals One

Marriage

This is a time of creating many fond memories and to learn to know each other’s strengths and weaknesses and how to relate to each other. Enjoy it! God meant for a man and his wife to enjoy each other60. It is a time of blending your way and my way into our way of doing things.

Encourage your husband to establish a family altar.

Speak often of God’s mercy and goodness to mankind. Set up a system, such as, reading the Bible together from cover to cover, or studying a book in the Bible, or go through a good Christian book written by a Godly author61.

In your plans allow enough flexibility that if God blesses your home with children, it does not create a hardship.

Through a blessing like this, God is saying: “Please raise this child for Me, teaching him/her all about Me as well as the need for salvation so I can bring him/her home to heaven”62. This will be the most precious item ever put in your care. This is the only thing that you can take along to eternity. It is something that will be forever. There is hardly anything more exciting than teaching and training children for life. By teaching them to live for their faith, you live on in them long after you are gone to your heavenly home.

Be sure to allow time for your husband, as well as your family, you must plan it and make it happen. Talk things through with him so there is clear understanding between you. Satan is a home destroyer and therefore good homes don’t just happen. They need planning and then working the plan. It is not necessary that you live like the “Jones”; you do not need the nicest, the most, or the best to have a happy home63. Where love abides a lack of luxuries is not missed.

Support the church, follow the guidelines and have a positive attitude towards it. Attend services regularly and when there are evening services, go. Teach your family that church is a very important part of your family life. Practice the fruit of the Spirit to each other in your daily life.

When differences arise, never go to bed angry. Resolve the problem or you will store your grievances in your heart and mind that may multiply to larger disagreements. If you both see it God’s way, you can start each day with a clean slate.

1 Ecc. 12:1

2 Rom. 3:23

3 Heb. 9:27

4 Heb. 4:3

5 2 Tim. 2:15

6 Matt. 18:14

7 2 Cor. 4:18

8 John 4:23

9 John 3:3-7

10 I Thess. 5:23

11 John 3:3-7

12 Rom. 5:12

13 Luke 18:13

14 Rom. 6:6-8

15 John 3:3

16 Prov. 18:24

17 2 Cor.6:14

18 1 John 2:10,11

19 1 Cor. 6:18

20 Gal. 6:10

21 Luke 13:25

22 1Thess. 5:22

23 Rom. 14:10

24 Matt. 16:22, 23

25 1 Thess. 4:4,5

26 1Pet. 3:3

27 1 Pet. 3:4

28 Gal. 5:22

29 2 Cor. 11:14

30 1 John 2:15

31 2 Tim. 3:5

32 Gal. 6:7

33 Eph. 4:29

34 Matt. 12:36,37

35 Matt.25:33

36 Eph. 4:15

37 Prov. 15:1

38 Eph. 6:1-3

39 Eph. 4:2

40 Gal. 5:22,23

41 Eph. 6:5,6

42 Ruth 1:16,17

43 1 Cor. 11:1-15

44 1 Cor. 11:10

45 Col 4:6

46 1 Cor. 11:3

47 Mark 12:31

48 Luke 15:4

49 Luke 6:29

50 Rom. 12:17-21

511 1 Cor 7:39

52 1 Cor. 3:17; 1Tim. 5:22

53 Heb. 13:5

54 Mark 12:30

55 1 Cor. 7:32

56 1 Cor. 7:7

57 1 Cor. 7:38

58 1 Cor. 10:31

59 Eph. 5:19-21

60 1 Pet. 3:7

61 Eph. 5:19; 1 Tim. 4:13

62 Psa. 127:3

63 1 Tim. 5:8